I met with a local pastor recently and he expressed joy in seeing me walking around town with my camera, wandering to and fro to capture shots. We spoke on this briefly and at the end he told me that, despite having joy, he felt a sadness and asked a question of the Lord in response to seeing me.
The question was this: “Lord, who walks with Stephen?”
Gut-punch. I’ve been haunted by this question for the last several days as I reflect on my life. Community has been a thing of challenge for me throughout my life and relationships have been constantly in flux.
As I wrote earlier today, I’m feeling the pang of loss from some of those relationships right now. Indeed, my heart is broken and that question echoes in my soul. “Who walks with Stephen?”
It’s days like today, days when I feel most weak and alone, that God comes in and brings refuge. This is the answer. It has always been the answer and will always be the answer.
God walks with me.
Especially on days like today when I least want to trust Him and cling to Him. It is now when God most readily reveals Himself and reminds me that I’m not alone and that I’ll never face the darkness by myself.
I’m am sad and I will feel my pain tonight, but I know that though I might not have the intimacy and care of loved ones, I still have a God that will never abandon me or put me to shame.
And one day, I’m going to understand this entirely.