As a ginger, I have engaged in a lifelong war with UV rays. I love the heat of the Sun, yet I am subjected to suffering for my love of light. I used to say a joke to my friends whenever the topic of sunburn was brought up.
“Glory to the day God turns the Sun black!”, I’d say, obviously referencing an often misinterpreted portion of Revelation. I didn’t realize how relevant my joke would eventually be for me.
Some of you might remember the cosmic event that took place just 6 months ago. The moon journeyed perfectly around the Earth to position itself directly between us and the Sun, granting us a rare and overwhelming sight.
Life had reached its lowest point for me. I was jobless, effectively homeless, and I had reached a more emotionally turbulent chain of events than I could have imagined possible. It felt like my life was falling apart, and events were unfolding in such a way as to suggest that the universe wanted me to see how broken and dysfunctional I was.
Despite it all, I was determined that I was going to experience the event of a lifetime! I endured a longer stay in Chattanooga to procure the experience, and I felt the consequences thereof.
The day it came felt like the greatest of tragedies. I was uncomfortable, unheard, and invalidated by people who I believed should have loved me. Instead, I found myself sitting in a back seat full of fury and hatred and, for the first time in nearly 10 years, I turned to self-harming for comfort and release. Those with me remained ignorant of my actions, just as they had for the previous fifteen years.
As I sat out in the middle of nowhere, waiting for the day to just end, I felt like the moment that I had waited excitedly for the last several months had been ruined. Regardless, I was determined to grasp what little enjoyment I could out of it.
Then it began…the change in temperature, the shifting of atmoshpere, and crickets singing in the daylight. The app I had downloaded began counting down and told me the time had come.
Shadow descended and I lifted my eyes.
Orange horizon surrounded me as I stared up at the black sphere dressed in silver light. The heavens danced above my head as God’s creation sang a love song to my soul. In that brief moment, I felt God. I felt at one with the universe that now echoed the beautiful longing for beauty in the midst of darkness. There I saw of vision of myself, and I was forever changed.
My problems shrank away as Creation and I bonded over a mutual admiration for the tenacity that we bore, and we made a pact to fight on.
I still think back on that day, and I know that I will many times over in the future. That black sun will ever remain a sign from God and a reminder that He loves me, no matter how dark and cold life might get. He subsequently has turned my joke into a proclamation of praise.
Glory to the day that God turned the Sun black…