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Instagone

I am 3 weeks past having deleted my Instagram and it feels good! But why did I get rid of it? I’m glad you asked!

A couple months ago I started becoming aware of an anxiety that I had based around my Instagram account.

Who liked my photo? Was it good enough? Do they think I filtered that or do they know it’s a natural pic? What is this person posting? Why don’t I see that person’s stories; are they not posting any or am I blocked? blah blah blaaaaaaah…

It was exhausting, unhealthy, and borderline insanity.

As I began to post less and less, I came to the conclusion that it was time just to cut it loose. I had too much attachment to it and I was spending too much of my spare minutes scrolling through Instagram. So, I amputated it from my life.

Here is what I’ve learned since.

  1. I occasionally feel remorse and disconnected from people, even though the reality is that I am no less disconnected from those people. Thus, I also learned…
  2. That Instagram was creating an illusion of connection to people that I love and care about without providing the substance and texture of a real relationship. It was removed and impersonal (much like most of Facebook).
  3. Two people noticed that my Instagram was gone. That’s it. Two! And that was after a couple weeks when they noticed I wasn’t responding to the group message!

I am an extremely relational person, and I found that Instagram took away from what I loved while deceiving me into thinking it was giving me everything I wanted. I felt more empty in my connections with each time I saw a friend posted a pic. The conflict of seeing something relational without the relationship was eating away at me.

Since then I’ve also deleted Twitter, but that was because I genuinely never used it and got tired of getting texts for the login code that I didn’t request.

I also couldn’t be fully myself on Instagram. I was too busy trying to get approval and attention. It was all about my appearance and value, which could never, ever be satisfied by an app anyway!

I also saw that same vanity, even narcissistic, element in others photos. I saw their craving for attention and for approval and decided that I didn’t want to live the rest of my life chasing after others approval and living in the anxiety that comes with such vain pursuits.

Perhaps one day I’ll turn to Instagram for business advertising and the like, but until I know I can use Instagram in a way that is healthy and beneficial to me and my community it’s going to stay out of my life to make room for things that genuinely matter.

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