Silence. That golden sensation. The anxious crave it and those who have it feel anxious. I desire silence when I want to get away from the sensory overload of life, but when I finally get it I start looking for people to talk to, music to play, something to watch, etc. When it comes time…Read More
I got up at 6 AM to get ready for work last Thursday. I went outside into the dark and looked up at the stars. The reality of winter’s arrival was all too obvious by the decreasing daylight. I drove to work and sat in my car while I waited for the doors to be…Read More
A good while back, I had a dear student whom I had sat and read comics with one morning. He was most enthralled by a comic about Thanos, the super-villain supreme of the Marvel Comic Universe. He excitedly told me about Thanos’ powers and his use of an ancient, magical device that allowed him to obliterate…Read More
This week I had the most dreadful pleasure of finding, securing, and moving into a new place of residence. I sat down with my soon-to-be-housemate and read through the terms and conditions of the lease that we were about to sign with our blood. As I read the nonstop hereto’s, hereunder’s, hereon’s, and herein’s I began…Read More
I was 17 then. Back when you got a girl’s number, called her up and awkwardly muddled through subjects until eventually, you both were okay with either making a joke about everything or hearing each others breath whisper into the phone line. In these moments, time was irrelevant, until you got off the phone, looked…Read More
Kerry Burnette -guest writer and author of KerrBearShares- writes about his experience of being bound by the past and learning to let go!Read More
They say troubles come in three’s; I say troubles grow on trees. Smoke billows ‘round weeping willows All is silent on the tear-stained pillow. In a young man’s room, where shadows promise comfort, The loneliness of the Middle dampens every effort To be more than just a byproduct of lust and desire; To be more…Read More
Needing that Cash Flow
Money. That dreadful substance that man worships. The mark of the Beast. The thing by which I pay my bills and purchase my freedom.
While I started a job last week as a barista, a couple weeks before I was on the financial struggle bus. As a result, I put myself on a couple freelance writing websites and a couple job search sites.
A few days after signing onto the freelance site, UpWork, I was sought out for a job!
I was given an invite to help write two books roughly 30k-50k words each and was offered a payment of $2000! It seemed like a dream come true; an answer to prayer!
After a brief dialogue with the patron, I quickly discerned the plot and nature of the books and I knew that it wasn’t God that came with the job offer.
The plots could be summarized by the term “god complex” and were essential much darker versions of “Honey, I shrunk the kids.” I had stumbled across stories like this on various sites for writers, and the demand for them on the market has been increasing substantially over the last several years.
So what was the problem? They were just books. They were weird stories about giants and their tiny friends/brothers who they suddenly felt empowered to lord over and enslave. It wasn’t like I would actually be hurting anyone…right?
A Moral Dilemma…
I was in need of money. I needed food. I have to take care of myself, don’t I? Of course I do! Yet I felt conviction in my soul. I knew these stories would be dark. I also knew that to write them with the quality I wanted I would have to go to dark places mentally to do so. And since writing poor quality stories was not an option, I was essentially committing to going to those dark places.
Furthermore, what affect was my writing going to have on others? Who would read my stories? Would they lean into the characters and find themselves feeding sadistic thoughts? Or would they feel stripped of value or power by identifying with the friend or brother being controlled by the whims of the giant in the story?
I wrestled with this for two days. I’m ashamed that it took me that long to even make that decision.
“Gain the world…lose your soul…”
I knew that the money wasn’t a good enough reason to take on a project that would have a negative effect on my soul, or on the souls of others. I chose to trust that GOd would see me through and take care of my needs instead of letting my greed lead me to compromise what I believe and promote thoughts and feelings that I have worked to fight against for the better of humanity.
I gave up significant pay and the reviews that I need to earn more jobs in writing, but I also didn’t lose myself.
“Dozens of faint marks scattered along her arms. Scars. It was then that I saw that she wasn’t beautiful…she was gorgeous…”Read More
“A year later, I look back on that moment and I learn those same lessons again…”Read More